I took the exit from the place ...after telling him everything.
He told me .
"She isn't coming back ", I am just wasting my time.
to which my reply was
" She was something good that happened in my life ,
now i don't want to feel the happiness in my life..
as i feel the hapiness contained or felt just deepens
the pain caused from it.
Its an essential element of life but it has its side effects too.
I fear the effects more than i endear the essentiality of it. "
Its inenvitable though its a surprise but
"Love can't be the best part of my life"
I move to a place alone, to be with myself for time...I think its just the only way to realize that its true and i can't do anything about it.
I close my eyes....
I took her name.........
She placed her back on my back.....and we sat like strangers together , looking in two opposite directions , joined by some common past we share.
" Shona , " i was about to start with my words
to which i stopped when she interrupted to tell me
She said ,
" I am not your shona , not anymore nor i was anyday of the past i shared with you,
stop calling me that , as it irritates me
to the extremes . As it binds me to your total nonsense"'
I gave her a fake smile hiding my feelings all under it , the pain her words gave , i tried covering them all with that smile, but my eyes weren't dry.
but i was not new to all this.
I told her that I Miss You .
She said ,
She was happy with him and i didn't mattered to her to be missed at all.
We sat like strangers not exchanging words nor even glances ...just were hearing each other's voice ...and indirectly replying each other.
She said ," when you don't have anything to talk , then i can't waste my time here sitting doing nothing."
"I am leaving then ," she added.
She stood up...to leave...
when my voice interrupted her steps moving forward.
Typically like you used to . You always asked me to be next you.
But you always said i never tried being next to you...
You never gave me the right to have much of your time....you always gave me that much time as it was required to keep your purpose ensured.
I always tried to beat my worst-side to be with you and spend as much time as possible ,
But you always left when he let me be with you. or he used to allow me when he could guess that you were about to leave.
and you always let down the request of mine to be there for a little more time.
Shona ,
you never gave me enough time , to tell you everything about myself.
So when you questioned the change in me, you actually got to know what i really was , not what the untrusting world turned me into.
So , you didn't had the right to question my feelings and call it an infatuation..
As you were right in guessing your side of the story but you had wrongly interpreted my feelings for you.
She moved ahead with the completion of the talk and she didn't looked back even once...
He told me .
"She isn't coming back ", I am just wasting my time.
to which my reply was
" She was something good that happened in my life ,
now i don't want to feel the happiness in my life..
as i feel the hapiness contained or felt just deepens
the pain caused from it.
Its an essential element of life but it has its side effects too.
I fear the effects more than i endear the essentiality of it. "
Its inenvitable though its a surprise but
"Love can't be the best part of my life"
I move to a place alone, to be with myself for time...I think its just the only way to realize that its true and i can't do anything about it.
I close my eyes....
I took her name.........
She placed her back on my back.....and we sat like strangers together , looking in two opposite directions , joined by some common past we share.
" Shona , " i was about to start with my words
to which i stopped when she interrupted to tell me
She said ,
" I am not your shona , not anymore nor i was anyday of the past i shared with you,
stop calling me that , as it irritates me
to the extremes . As it binds me to your total nonsense"'
I gave her a fake smile hiding my feelings all under it , the pain her words gave , i tried covering them all with that smile, but my eyes weren't dry.
but i was not new to all this.
I told her that I Miss You .
She said ,
She was happy with him and i didn't mattered to her to be missed at all.
We sat like strangers not exchanging words nor even glances ...just were hearing each other's voice ...and indirectly replying each other.
She said ," when you don't have anything to talk , then i can't waste my time here sitting doing nothing."
"I am leaving then ," she added.
She stood up...to leave...
when my voice interrupted her steps moving forward.
Typically like you used to . You always asked me to be next you.
But you always said i never tried being next to you...
You never gave me the right to have much of your time....you always gave me that much time as it was required to keep your purpose ensured.
I always tried to beat my worst-side to be with you and spend as much time as possible ,
But you always left when he let me be with you. or he used to allow me when he could guess that you were about to leave.
and you always let down the request of mine to be there for a little more time.
Shona ,
you never gave me enough time , to tell you everything about myself.
So when you questioned the change in me, you actually got to know what i really was , not what the untrusting world turned me into.
So , you didn't had the right to question my feelings and call it an infatuation..
As you were right in guessing your side of the story but you had wrongly interpreted my feelings for you.
She moved ahead with the completion of the talk and she didn't looked back even once...
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